Motivational speaking legend Jim Rohn says that you will find yourself in the same status as your 5 closest friends. With that in mind, who do you keep in your inner circle? Who do you spend most of your time with? Are they supportive and building you up, or are they destructive and dragging you down?
I know that the decisions can be tough sometimes. Maybe there is someone close to you that is a family member or old friend that has been there for you in the past. It can be hard to look at the grey area and want to give them the benefit of the doubt. But is that always the best thing?
In Dr. Phil McGraw’s book Life Code, he created a list of toxic people that need to be removed from your life. He calls them BAITERS. It stands for:
If a person falls in any of these categories, it is better to create separation or cut ties all together. Again, if they fit into those categories, there is little chance you can change them. You need to accept that they are who they are. I know what you’re thinking, he might have cheated in his last relationship, but I’m different. Or he might have been abusive in his last relationship, but I’m different. Chances are that you likely are not all that different, and they will continue the same behavior pattern with you. It’s a tough choice to make, but it is probably the most important.
Never stop believing in yourself! Talk to you soon 🙂
-Dan Sims
Great post !
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Thank you
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Does the book discuss toxic co-workers? Info, those are a little more challenging to shed from one’s life.
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/Unfortunately (not info) (dang autocorrect)
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That’s a great question! I am not sure if we can shake toxic co-workers in the same way. I’m interested to hear Dan’s take on this. I would say that we just have to keep things strictly professional with those people. We can’t tell them anything about our personal lives. We must be courteous but remember less is more. You’re not going to like everyone you work with-some people are real jerks sometimes. And toxic people need jobs too. Unfortunately we can’t control how they behave. We have to change how we react to them. This is all based on my experience anyways. 🙂 Have a great day Jen!
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That has been my M.O. all along. I’m also at an age where I have the confidence to push back verbally (not physically, of course). I don’t need to like all of my colleagues, although it would be nice, but I do have to be able to maintain a professional relationship with them.
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My take is that you need to distance yourself from negative people. Especially those who will mistreat you or take advantage of them. Don’t waste major time on minor this, or in this case, minor people. Focus the majority of your time on what matter. The rest is really just unimportant bull shit.
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*minor things.
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Lol
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I don’t remember if it specifically does, but it’s a great read.
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Dan what a great and necessary message for everyone! I am going to spend sometime evaluating your words today and looking at my inner circles as we all should. Thank you for saying this without saying this. I love you. 🙂 My wise fiance ladies and gentleman.
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So awesome! I shared this on FB, TWIT, ETC – share this!
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Thank you so much. You’re amazing.
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Good post! On social media, including WordPress, I have often had to deal with all of the above list, but especially Imposters and Exploiters. I have cut my friendship list on FB in half several times to rid myself of “friends” that were constantly dragging me down. My pint-sized inner circle is all that really matters to me anyway. Thanks again. Cheers!
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Awesome. Sounds like your ahead of the curve. Great job!
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Great post Dan..we shud be aware of our surrounding.
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Exactly
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My mum is kinda toxic pers, but what can I do. I love my mum…
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Of course you do. Just manage the relationship. Give her the love and attention that she deserve, but disconnect once you can tell the conversation is heading the wrong direction. Be respectful and excuse yourself. Then focus your time on something productive.
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Yeah, I’m trying my best here haha thx :))
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Do you have suggestions for bringing more positive people into your life once you get rid of the negative ones?
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Only suggestion is to keep your eyes open and be patient. It’s amazing what you find once you know what you are looking for.
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Great advice!!!! Totally agree
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Great post! Completely agree with the message.
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Yes, Sir! sho you right! Proverbs 13:20 warns us “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” I love this post! Thanks for sharing!
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